Don't Pull The Thang Out Unless You Plan to Bang...
Brace yourself, I'm going to vent, I'm going to be bitch and not really mean it so....
My sister is, right now, in Italy preparing for yet another month the shows they will put on the cruise ship that will first sail out of Copenhagen. She is accompanied by her fiancee, her doting, whipped fiancee...and he's easy on the eyes. Before she left she threw a fit about not wanting to go, being stressed out, not wanting to go sail around the Med cause she's so stressed out. I catered and coddled and helped address envelopes for their rockstar Save the Date cards. On the day they moved out I rode up to Inglewood to say goodbye and they were freaking out because they had more stuff then they could pack. I pulled my little brother into going up to their apartment after we both got off work to load their excess up and keep it at my house for the next year and drop off the keys in the city department.
soooo, since I promised to keep in touch and I was worried about her stress I wrote her a nice long email two weeks ago. I told her how proud I was of her and blah blah blah, I miss and love her and asked for an address cuz I wanted to send something to them. And I got this back.... "We won't have an address for a two more weeks if you can hold out. I have a huge favor to ask you so can you give me your email address?? love you miss you"
okay, so I sent my email that day knowing that they had limited internet time. But that was like, two weeks ago. Today I get an email with an attachment from April that says this "not a fun one...miss you" the attachment is named crista and it doesn't open. I also got an email from Ken with an address and a code and he told me to delete it when I was finished.
Still not upset until I go on myspace and realize my sister has uploaded and labled 30some pictures of their fabulous time in Italy. She had plenty of time to write me a note instead of send an attachment. So all of a sudden I get a moment of heat in my chest. I don't feel sorry for this little girl, making her living dancing her ass off with all her expenses paid, in Bob Macke gowns, sailing around the Med with the love of her life that kisses her feet. They are spending thier engagment traveling through Europe eating pizza and gelato and I am spending thier engagement being thier land liason and trying to make thier life more comfortable. UGH! No, I have a life too. And it may not seem as exotic and important, but it is my life and...well, doesn't she care?
She gets a lot of leeway, and I'll never bring this up to her because its just a moment of frustration. It's always been like this I know and it's not a big deal and she's just busy and excited and I think thats great. I really do. And I'm glad that my sister found that the world is her oyster. She never had to work a day job, she's too talented, she didn't have to go to school and she found a perfect man at the ripe old age of 22. She's never struggled with her weight and she's always looked beautiful and expected to be treated that way. My sister is a princess and I would never want her to be treated differently. But sometimes I get irked because I feel like perhaps we both could have been important and beautiful. I didn't HAVE to be the lady in waiting.
So there is my venting. I wrote her back very nicely "I can't open this attachment honey, could you try to send it in a different application? love and miss you" I know my little tantrum doesen't need to affect her. I know it only upsets me because it touches on my own insecurites and fears about worth and not really because I need my sister to pay attention to me :)
My sister is, right now, in Italy preparing for yet another month the shows they will put on the cruise ship that will first sail out of Copenhagen. She is accompanied by her fiancee, her doting, whipped fiancee...and he's easy on the eyes. Before she left she threw a fit about not wanting to go, being stressed out, not wanting to go sail around the Med cause she's so stressed out. I catered and coddled and helped address envelopes for their rockstar Save the Date cards. On the day they moved out I rode up to Inglewood to say goodbye and they were freaking out because they had more stuff then they could pack. I pulled my little brother into going up to their apartment after we both got off work to load their excess up and keep it at my house for the next year and drop off the keys in the city department.
soooo, since I promised to keep in touch and I was worried about her stress I wrote her a nice long email two weeks ago. I told her how proud I was of her and blah blah blah, I miss and love her and asked for an address cuz I wanted to send something to them. And I got this back.... "We won't have an address for a two more weeks if you can hold out. I have a huge favor to ask you so can you give me your email address?? love you miss you"
okay, so I sent my email that day knowing that they had limited internet time. But that was like, two weeks ago. Today I get an email with an attachment from April that says this "not a fun one...miss you" the attachment is named crista and it doesn't open. I also got an email from Ken with an address and a code and he told me to delete it when I was finished.
Still not upset until I go on myspace and realize my sister has uploaded and labled 30some pictures of their fabulous time in Italy. She had plenty of time to write me a note instead of send an attachment. So all of a sudden I get a moment of heat in my chest. I don't feel sorry for this little girl, making her living dancing her ass off with all her expenses paid, in Bob Macke gowns, sailing around the Med with the love of her life that kisses her feet. They are spending thier engagment traveling through Europe eating pizza and gelato and I am spending thier engagement being thier land liason and trying to make thier life more comfortable. UGH! No, I have a life too. And it may not seem as exotic and important, but it is my life and...well, doesn't she care?
She gets a lot of leeway, and I'll never bring this up to her because its just a moment of frustration. It's always been like this I know and it's not a big deal and she's just busy and excited and I think thats great. I really do. And I'm glad that my sister found that the world is her oyster. She never had to work a day job, she's too talented, she didn't have to go to school and she found a perfect man at the ripe old age of 22. She's never struggled with her weight and she's always looked beautiful and expected to be treated that way. My sister is a princess and I would never want her to be treated differently. But sometimes I get irked because I feel like perhaps we both could have been important and beautiful. I didn't HAVE to be the lady in waiting.
So there is my venting. I wrote her back very nicely "I can't open this attachment honey, could you try to send it in a different application? love and miss you" I know my little tantrum doesen't need to affect her. I know it only upsets me because it touches on my own insecurites and fears about worth and not really because I need my sister to pay attention to me :)
posted by Coco at 11:13 AM
1 Comments:
Arthur: Iris, in the movies we have leading ladies and we have the best friend. You, I can tell, are a leading lady, but for some reason you are behaving like the best friend.
Iris: You're so right. You're supposed to be the leading lady of your own life, for God's sake! Arthur, I've been going to a therapist for three years, and she's never explained things to me that well. That was brilliant. Brutal, but brilliant.
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