Catch my breath...

Things have been moving and changing so fast I can't keep up, not on this blog, not in my poor brain....

Soooo here goes:

1. I had a photographer find me on Model Mayhem and take pictures for trade. it was a new experience for me, I've only modeled for my own headshots and even that was only twice with less then stellar results. I"m not so comfortable with the posing/modeling thing. But it was exciting and fun, and a little exhausting as I posed, mostly nude, in dance poses. I have a better appreciation of models. holding your leg by your ear whilst your but cheeks are exposed to the, wind, is no easy task. Lets not get into what it takes to do he splits on someones coffee table without your choneys on... but that's how I got the following picture. yes, I will never think models lazy every again.

2. I started the Shiatsu modality and I adore it. Though I did absolutely love deep tissue class, I think shiatsu is my favorite and the one I'll focus on primarily. Mostly because it is taught in conjunction with Traditional Chinese Medicine, can be done on a mat on the floor, has tons of history behind it, and has been used medically for centuries. I did get an A on my deep tissue exam and an A+ on the practical. Thank you Eddie for laying down for practice sessions EVERY NIGHT. still practicing. guess I haven't perfected it yet ;)

3. Got an offer for Universal Singapore. To be an aerialist in a cirque style show. Oct 26 2009 - Jan 2011. Woooo! however, this has been the source of much stress and ups and downs. Eddie also got an offer, but while an aerialist role for me is fantastic, he got offered a swing role doing less then stellar things for his career. and he's got to decide whether to spend a year away from his burgeouning but unreliable stunt career and network here to beef up his savings account, spend a year in Singapore with his (adorable and wonderful) girlfriend OR stay working at the job that's killing his soul but allowing him, to extent to be in the right places at times that could end up being the right time and get more movie work. which means we're teetering between spending 13 months away (but staying together, we already decided) from each other for the greater good of our careers (if he gets a movie or a regular on a tv show and for me, Singapore is a great opportunity I may never be able to duplicate) OR living together for the first time in a foreign country. and I've thought, with my career and life path going the way it's going perhaps if he doesn't go, I might not either. Our contracts offered were kind of crappy but they are renegotiating them (they originally had us finding our own lodging within two weeks of arriving in Singapore and negotiating our own lease, utilities, transportation. that's not standard. usually they'll do cast lodging and pay you per diem and orchestrate cast transportation). The new contracts, if approved will include a rooming with another cast member in a 2 bedroom apt, with kitchen, phone and internet and utilites all paid for and negotiated by Universal Singapore instead of individually and lodging in walking distance to metro transit with paid monthly train passes. The park is on the island of Sentosa and noone lives on the island, we have to ferry in. so walking distance to the train station is very important. If the new contracts go through, I don't know how i can turn it down. but my motorcycle is busted and now I have to figure out my transportation for the next 2 months. don't want to buy a car if I'm leaving but I have to double up on school to finish in time and I can't get there without a bike or a car. cross you fingers the bike is an easy fix when I bring it to the shop tomorrow.

oh have fun giggling at my first fitness/dance modeling shoot. only put up the pg/pg13 rated pics :) momma would be proud

I think I'm in love for the first time and I love our daily life together. but what man respects a woman who gives up an opportunity like that to stay with him? however, how do we stay close and love each other when after six months together we're apart for a year? a global phone will help. BUT... ugh. I keep telling myself if someone, any man, truly loved me and was worth a future together, we'd work it out and I should go. So I'm sure I will. But I really think we'll end up going together. I hope so on one hand, but I want him to have the career and the life he wants and he wants to be a stunt man. he'd only be going to singapore to save money. there's a lot on my mind lately.


also, it's been really nice to live so close to my sister. and I was looking forward to the holidays with her. but this is the nature of my life, the life I chose. I look into the future and I can't see any clear path. what happens after singapore? I"m getting older, especially for a dancer/aerialist. who will I be at 35? it scares me a little. actors, singers, they're wonderful at 35, 45... they have longevity. but I don't. I love massage but as an addition, what do I do with myself after that? I don't feel like I'm a good dancer. how could I teach or choreograph when I never really did anything great with my dancing, never made a real top notch dance audition? all these things will unfold, I know. that is why Singapore could be great, I'd learn some different aerial stuff and meet Universal people and maybe have a future at Universal along with the phenomenal choreographer Jason Ramsburg. plus who knows, I'm 27 now, I'll only be 28 when I get back... I can do the same things I would have auditioned for this year. and maybe acting or stunts is in my future. I made a good impression on the stunt peeps I've met with eddie. even had an offer to go train with one of the major females in stunts. or perhaps I'll comeback, and be happy dancing at a studio and doing small gigs here and there whilst shiatsuing my little fingers off and getting married and having babies...... who knows