Belly
I started teaching a one hour belly dancing class last week to a group of 35-50something year olds. They all work in the same office and wanted a fun way to get in shape. They are an intimidating bunch, but for some reason they love me. They had taken a class with the studio owner and she called me in desperation because she didn't want to try to handle them. They're bossy :)
A new woman came to class yesterday...probably mid-forties. She jumped right in and was shaking her hips with us, no problem. Well, I told the class, as I always do "belly dance is sensual, you may feel like you look silly but you're sexy. There's no right way, you move because you feel sexy...". The new lady looked at me and said "I need this class. I'm trying to find my 'sexy'. I'm going through a divorce. He's cheating on me." "Ma'am your sexy is right here. Look at your hips, that looks great". My heart just fell. I have found that nearly all my adult classes are full of women who are taking dance because they feel like dowdy old school marms. They look at me, 25 year old dance instructer and coo over my abs and the way I move my hips. If only they knew I feel like the highschool loser with braces and acne.
After class the same lady said to me "of course all the boys want to be with you, who wouldn't" I looked her straight in the eye and said "you think that but, my exboyfriend cheated on me and chased other women...it's not about us. They leave us because of them, not because of us" . Thats right, he cheated on my abs and hips and sparkly personality that these women think must be so desirable. Does that help? I hope that she can see even if just for a moment in her, no doubt, long chain of lonely days, that she is not neccessarily some old hag who deserved to be left because she's ugly. Maybe she can see that she can be sexy without his cheating ass. Maybe she'll see that 'pretty young things' get the shaft too. I am making the women belly dancing CD's and I told her I'd make her an extra CD...oh yes she gets a copy of the Angry CD. When I finally felt angry I made a CD of music to back me up, because I have a hard time staying angry. She lit up. Maybe thats my purpose. I poo poo my career. I wear glitter and have no 401K and I can't start an IV. But I can cheer people and give them what they want...to feel good, to forget their sorrows, to feel sexy again. Maybe that's my job and maybe thats good enough.
A new woman came to class yesterday...probably mid-forties. She jumped right in and was shaking her hips with us, no problem. Well, I told the class, as I always do "belly dance is sensual, you may feel like you look silly but you're sexy. There's no right way, you move because you feel sexy...". The new lady looked at me and said "I need this class. I'm trying to find my 'sexy'. I'm going through a divorce. He's cheating on me." "Ma'am your sexy is right here. Look at your hips, that looks great". My heart just fell. I have found that nearly all my adult classes are full of women who are taking dance because they feel like dowdy old school marms. They look at me, 25 year old dance instructer and coo over my abs and the way I move my hips. If only they knew I feel like the highschool loser with braces and acne.
After class the same lady said to me "of course all the boys want to be with you, who wouldn't" I looked her straight in the eye and said "you think that but, my exboyfriend cheated on me and chased other women...it's not about us. They leave us because of them, not because of us" . Thats right, he cheated on my abs and hips and sparkly personality that these women think must be so desirable. Does that help? I hope that she can see even if just for a moment in her, no doubt, long chain of lonely days, that she is not neccessarily some old hag who deserved to be left because she's ugly. Maybe she can see that she can be sexy without his cheating ass. Maybe she'll see that 'pretty young things' get the shaft too. I am making the women belly dancing CD's and I told her I'd make her an extra CD...oh yes she gets a copy of the Angry CD. When I finally felt angry I made a CD of music to back me up, because I have a hard time staying angry. She lit up. Maybe thats my purpose. I poo poo my career. I wear glitter and have no 401K and I can't start an IV. But I can cheer people and give them what they want...to feel good, to forget their sorrows, to feel sexy again. Maybe that's my job and maybe thats good enough.
posted by Coco at 3:49 PM
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