Little Pink Dress

Patty Griffin sings a song called "Trapeze" and one of the most poignant and meaningful lines speaks right to my heart... "some people don't care if they live or they die, some people want to know what it feels like to fly. They gather their courage and they give it a try"

There are days, oh there are long days when I feel disappointed in myself. I have risked and I have lost and I have started at zero so many times it seems like a career. But at the end of those days I know that I have lived thus... I know what it feels like to fly. And that means more to me than a neat tidy life of black and white. I muddied myself for the sake of experience and I remind myself in the times where I am wont to berate and chastise me, that I wanted to fly. And I did. And I will. And I am. I always knew I was meant for the unusual because I was not contented with the average, with the easy, with the norm. I knew there was more and I could do it. I could do anything. And there are consequences to doing anything. I have failed and lost and made big mistakes and broke hearts and hurt family and hurt myself and had to apologize and start over. I have dared to ask questions and test theories... even my own and boundaries. And for that I am proud. and honestly, I feel very very privaleged.

Patty wraps it up by singing "one day the old girls going down" but oh what a descent that will be.