I'm in SINGAPORE!!!
want to join me for the ride this year??
Do you want to come with me as I spend a year (at least) in Singapore as an expatriate? Today is November 11th and I have signed a contract to be here until November 15th 2010. Everyone asks, do you think you'll sign on for another year once your done?? To which I can only reply "I have no earthly idea". and really, at this point and at many points in the next 6-12 months, it could go either way.
We landed (Jefferson and I, my roommate and coworker from Pirates. also Eddie, my most recent ex's good friend) on October 26th in the evening (Singapore time, which is October 25th in the States). We met Singaporean Universal employees and they brought us to the lovely Hotel Re! since our living situations were still undetermined. We lived in that hotel for a week. We had orientation and a few trips with our employers (paperwork, bank stuff, Ministry of Manpower) but other than that it was free time in a hotel and a new country. It may seem nice but it was a little bit like torture. Everything was chaotic and I didn't know anyone save Jefferson. I was working out by running the stairs in the park and doing P90X in our hotel room. I explored a little bit.
The only reason I'm moved into an apartment now as opposed to still at the hotel with a good 85% of our coworkers, is that Jefferson and I actually loved the housing they originally offered us for employee housing. Almost everyone else thinks its substandard. I'm enjoying my huge room, kitchen and proximity to everything. and rehearsals were canceld last week too as everyone needed to find housing. and the free time (ie. time to workout twice a day and then grocery shop and then pine over people from home on the internet) was wearing both of us down.
Finally this week we've had rehearsals. And I've kept up with my workouts, so I'm sore and tired and finally doing something.
I'm sooooo tired. I woke up this morning to workout before rehearsal. then had rehearsal (all trampoline and conditioning) and I came home and passed out for a nap. Tonight I'm going salsa dancing. Tommorrow I have rehearsal and then a photo shoot. My first shoot here (my Model Mayhem sight has been blowing up with photographer requests since I got here). It's with another girl and we're shooting in the hotel I stayed at before. It's paid but barely and I get a CD. It's good for my port I think, but it is "artistic nude". I already spelled out my parameters for the photog but it's always a little nerve wracking. Jefferson is going to go with me, show up and then wait in the lobby for me, that's really nice of him.
The biggest struggle I've had since I was here was feeling fat and ugly... funny enough. I get sad over other things, but on a daily basis I struggle with working out enough and eating little enough to feel okay. I see pictures of me with the other girls and I feel gigantic and my hair is dull and lifeless and I look pasty and doughy. and I hope it's in my head or in the lighting. The guys here all call me "Ripped" (and sometimes I think they're hinting that I no longer look feminine) and jefferson says I'm crazy with the workouts but I eat enough so he's not worried. But I FEEELL so huge. and I feel like I lost my fit identity. I just feel heavy and unattractive. and I don't know what to do. That's also the reason for the facebook fast. I NEED to be more in touch with me, my body, my body's needs, my brains needs so that I can exist as myself here. If I am white and doughy then gosh darnit I want to own it and be at home in my skin. Whether my body is one way or another, I need to find a resting place. I'm hungry, then I'm bloated, I've got headache's, Im overly tired... ugh.
But I love learning trampoline (of course I do!) I look ridiculous to start out! A mid twenties woman bouncing around trying to find her sea legs on an apparatus with a bunch of peterpans! it's freaking hilarious, I can't believe I'm getting paid more than I've ever been paid in my life for this.
Do you want to come with me as I spend a year (at least) in Singapore as an expatriate? Today is November 11th and I have signed a contract to be here until November 15th 2010. Everyone asks, do you think you'll sign on for another year once your done?? To which I can only reply "I have no earthly idea". and really, at this point and at many points in the next 6-12 months, it could go either way.
We landed (Jefferson and I, my roommate and coworker from Pirates. also Eddie, my most recent ex's good friend) on October 26th in the evening (Singapore time, which is October 25th in the States). We met Singaporean Universal employees and they brought us to the lovely Hotel Re! since our living situations were still undetermined. We lived in that hotel for a week. We had orientation and a few trips with our employers (paperwork, bank stuff, Ministry of Manpower) but other than that it was free time in a hotel and a new country. It may seem nice but it was a little bit like torture. Everything was chaotic and I didn't know anyone save Jefferson. I was working out by running the stairs in the park and doing P90X in our hotel room. I explored a little bit.
The only reason I'm moved into an apartment now as opposed to still at the hotel with a good 85% of our coworkers, is that Jefferson and I actually loved the housing they originally offered us for employee housing. Almost everyone else thinks its substandard. I'm enjoying my huge room, kitchen and proximity to everything. and rehearsals were canceld last week too as everyone needed to find housing. and the free time (ie. time to workout twice a day and then grocery shop and then pine over people from home on the internet) was wearing both of us down.
Finally this week we've had rehearsals. And I've kept up with my workouts, so I'm sore and tired and finally doing something.
I'm sooooo tired. I woke up this morning to workout before rehearsal. then had rehearsal (all trampoline and conditioning) and I came home and passed out for a nap. Tonight I'm going salsa dancing. Tommorrow I have rehearsal and then a photo shoot. My first shoot here (my Model Mayhem sight has been blowing up with photographer requests since I got here). It's with another girl and we're shooting in the hotel I stayed at before. It's paid but barely and I get a CD. It's good for my port I think, but it is "artistic nude". I already spelled out my parameters for the photog but it's always a little nerve wracking. Jefferson is going to go with me, show up and then wait in the lobby for me, that's really nice of him.
The biggest struggle I've had since I was here was feeling fat and ugly... funny enough. I get sad over other things, but on a daily basis I struggle with working out enough and eating little enough to feel okay. I see pictures of me with the other girls and I feel gigantic and my hair is dull and lifeless and I look pasty and doughy. and I hope it's in my head or in the lighting. The guys here all call me "Ripped" (and sometimes I think they're hinting that I no longer look feminine) and jefferson says I'm crazy with the workouts but I eat enough so he's not worried. But I FEEELL so huge. and I feel like I lost my fit identity. I just feel heavy and unattractive. and I don't know what to do. That's also the reason for the facebook fast. I NEED to be more in touch with me, my body, my body's needs, my brains needs so that I can exist as myself here. If I am white and doughy then gosh darnit I want to own it and be at home in my skin. Whether my body is one way or another, I need to find a resting place. I'm hungry, then I'm bloated, I've got headache's, Im overly tired... ugh.
But I love learning trampoline (of course I do!) I look ridiculous to start out! A mid twenties woman bouncing around trying to find her sea legs on an apparatus with a bunch of peterpans! it's freaking hilarious, I can't believe I'm getting paid more than I've ever been paid in my life for this.
posted by Coco at 2:43 AM
1 Comments:
You can spend your days worrying about your weight and image- or you can throw it into the wind and live this experience to the fullest. You are beautiful and strong and you never have to be one of those stick thin girls. You have so much more going for you than your weight or body fat percentage. Have a great year- looking forward to hearing about all of your experiences!
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