"So, who where you before you became you?"

Excellent question S.Scott Craft, excellent.  I guess I was me, the whole time.  The issue was more that I didn't like who I was then or I like who I am better now...but I was always me.  If "me" consisted of shy, messed up and insecure, well that's that.  What I should have expressed and now it seems clearer to me, was that I felt that I had no control over my life or the way I was or what I was to become. At a certain point I realized I had control over many things and all of a sudden I could become less self focused ( ie.when I felt I became me...).  The long climb out of the tunnel is what it seemed like.

 

I guess phrases like "I'm trying to find me" and "I'm not myself" are pretty inaccurate.  You are always you even if you're doing something "you" don't like. 

 

ha!  Thanks for the insightful question SSC.