Observations

I feel like I have so much inside of me, that I am overflowing all the time with experiences, senses...like I am always in high gear. Feeling, observing, wondering, asking. every person I come into contact with seems to make a technicolor impression. I FEEL people. I can tell you all the beautiful, sometimes discreet, wonderful things about each of the people in my cast, male and female alike. Why do I notice these things? I have so much...how can I keep it all inside? What do I do with it when it spills out?

For example my coworker friend M has the most beautiful porcelin skin you've ever seen. Her mouth when she does impressions does this neat side curve and then she laughs with her whole body. Its wonderful. I am so aware of how you could be deeply in love with her. A is delicate but very proud...she is the essence of femaninity, Emily Post. She shows you why good girls don't, they just don't. And she's in love with sanwhiches, they make her absolutely giddy. Adorable right? Again, I am keenly aware of how one could rend the heavens to marry her. D is a sponge when it comes to mannerisms. His need to be loved by everywoman which makes everywoman love him...and he picks up everything from the men he thinks are more successful than him, the way they walk, or hold thier hands at thier side. He always, always wears flat front pants and he has the most delicate eye lashes you've ever seen. Again, one could be madly in love with this sponge, this beautiful sponge. Even E, whose company I just do not enjoy, when he grabs me on stage I am aware of how his hands remind me of a childs hands...not that they are small but that you can feel his youth and neediness for love in them. The rest of him, rock solid, hard as nails, seemingly always casting judgement, but his hands don't lie...I love them.

I fall in love very easily. I truly believe sometimes that I could be terribly in love with nearly anyone.

Even now, I am dating someone who I have a hard time connecting with. I really don't understand him, and he doesn't understand me and we just seem to miscommunicate al the time. But I can write you a list of the beautiful breathtaking things about him, the adorable little nuances that make him lovable. such as:

he adores his mother, speaks about her regularly
his skin is softer than a baby's, it's absolutely perfect. he has such a hard personality and such baby skin.
he cuddles in his sleep, this is my favorite. It doesn't matter what he's done all day...he just wraps you up in his arms all night
he loves icecream even though he is lactose intolerant
He has his highschool waterpolo pictures up on his wall

I guess in the end, those little loveable things aren't really enough to sustain a relationship...they are accoutraments. Still beautiful and precious, but not....IT.