I Hate Men or 12 reasons eating the frosting off a whole birthday cake doesn't squelch your disappointment... plus three reasons to do it anyway

1. Frosting makes you bloated, therefore making you feel unattractive (and puffy) and starting to make excuses for those who have let you down or trampled on your feelings ("well, I am puffy and unattractive")

2. No amount of butter cream can make you forget the burning feeling in your skin when you first crossed paths with "the other woman"

3. birthday cake reminds you of the birthday's you spent alone while actually in a relationship

4. Many, many many wishes have never been answered

5. Vegans still get to eat frosting... dammit

6. Frosting may be the sweetest thing you've ever experienced which is a very very sad concept

7. and, like men, after the sweetness comes the pain of knowing you will forever be uglier because of the experience

8. Like losers, there will always be another cake to discover

9. Frosting (and men) can give you cancer (and heart disease)

10. When all the frosting is gone, you are still alone...but you're alone AND nauseated

11. The film left on your tongue from the frosting makes it impossible to have rebound make out

12. The spike in blood sugar means the drop off could allow you to cry, a lot... again.

+

1. Frosting tastes good and releases endorphins (so what if exercising does too...you can't exercise and watch Gimore Girls with a box of tissues at the same time)

2. The vomiting that occurs after the frosting tones stomach muscles

3. If you're home eating a cake you're not going for rebound sex... no risk of STD's!!