The Dream

I dreamt I awoke from a deep sleep in the late afternoon, in a beautiful house, in a beautiful bed. The room was full of rich colors and air was heavy and warm. I awoke to a house full of friends and family - a marriage had been arranged - for me! I had such a sense of comfort in this house, apparently it was my house. I mulled about talking with the relatives and friends of the groom, who I knew of but didn't know. I loved this feeling of family, security and purpose, like my life from now on would have a set standard of expectations. As the grooms mother chatted to me about the duties and joys of marriage (specifically to her son, specifically duties) my mind wandered...I had just woken up into this, I didn't have to do it, I really didn't. Marrying this man would mean I would walk away from a large part of my identity and journey and set me on another path. And it wasn't the social norm to have an arranged marriage. I didn't have to do it. At the core of me was deep ache, a familiar ache - if I did this I would never again take a chance at falling in love, meeting anyone new and feeling a spark, an excitement and driving wonder. This would be my family now... if I didn't reject it.
My betrothed walked in and greeted me. I looked at him. I was, despite that ache, excited. He was unconventionally handsome, strong, obviously Indian (as also could be ascertained by his mother and family members in my house), and familiar already. I knew we'd disconnect over the feminine need of mine to talk deeply... but I was drawn to him and I carried on. Perhaps this was my adventure, my love, my story. This could be extraordinary. This could beautiful...