Revelations...
I started seeing a therapist a month ago for a few simple reasons:
1. I felt a void in my life in the area of godly, adult counsel.
2. I wanted to work out (or at least become aware of and commit to resolving) any hidden issues I was harboring while I was still without family (husband, children). I had a disfunctional family (as most people do to some extent) and as my relationship with my boyfriend was becoming more serious I wanted to be proactive about forging a healthy structure.
3. I struggled with eating disorders on and off for a long time (long to me at least).
So those were the main reasons and I was nervous to begin but also felt good about actively seeking health. I have thought about a few interesting things during the course of the 4 sessions I have attended. Here are a few highlights:
1. The last two sessions plunged me into my childhood memories like I had never imagined and my brain has been analyzing and re-analyzing everything I remember. It's weird what you realize about your childhood when reviewing it as an adult. It's interesting to me to look at my parents choices as an adult and see them as adults like me and then alternately remember how those choices were percieved from my child point of view.
2. I have this idea that all decisions in my life are right or wrong and as a young adult I was VERY VERY anxious about choosing the wrong decision when the "right" decision was so obvious to everyone else.
3. I consider myself a very happy person. I feel happy, I do what I can to stay content while still fueling my ambition. Yet in my conversations with my therapist I have uncovered a bitterness inside me that affects certain relationships....and then guilt about that bitterness that also affects relationships...
4. It seems that many things I thought were problems I had were actually symptoms of harmful responses to other problems....hmmmm and actually, different issues or thought patterns were directly related to each other and I had always thought of them as completely seperate!
those are just a few things. I find it very interesting and satisfying to talk through and examine different angles of my thought process. and, as I do, I realize that everyone else is reacting from thier own internal patterns, the pre-set format of looking at things. It's very intriguing! I have found an unexpected benefit of therapy to me is that I feel I can be more understanding of other people, less judgemental, and listen more to what people are saying.
1. I felt a void in my life in the area of godly, adult counsel.
2. I wanted to work out (or at least become aware of and commit to resolving) any hidden issues I was harboring while I was still without family (husband, children). I had a disfunctional family (as most people do to some extent) and as my relationship with my boyfriend was becoming more serious I wanted to be proactive about forging a healthy structure.
3. I struggled with eating disorders on and off for a long time (long to me at least).
So those were the main reasons and I was nervous to begin but also felt good about actively seeking health. I have thought about a few interesting things during the course of the 4 sessions I have attended. Here are a few highlights:
1. The last two sessions plunged me into my childhood memories like I had never imagined and my brain has been analyzing and re-analyzing everything I remember. It's weird what you realize about your childhood when reviewing it as an adult. It's interesting to me to look at my parents choices as an adult and see them as adults like me and then alternately remember how those choices were percieved from my child point of view.
2. I have this idea that all decisions in my life are right or wrong and as a young adult I was VERY VERY anxious about choosing the wrong decision when the "right" decision was so obvious to everyone else.
3. I consider myself a very happy person. I feel happy, I do what I can to stay content while still fueling my ambition. Yet in my conversations with my therapist I have uncovered a bitterness inside me that affects certain relationships....and then guilt about that bitterness that also affects relationships...
4. It seems that many things I thought were problems I had were actually symptoms of harmful responses to other problems....hmmmm and actually, different issues or thought patterns were directly related to each other and I had always thought of them as completely seperate!
those are just a few things. I find it very interesting and satisfying to talk through and examine different angles of my thought process. and, as I do, I realize that everyone else is reacting from thier own internal patterns, the pre-set format of looking at things. It's very intriguing! I have found an unexpected benefit of therapy to me is that I feel I can be more understanding of other people, less judgemental, and listen more to what people are saying.
posted by Coco at 7:38 AM
1 Comments:
"I feel I can be more understanding of other people, less judgemental, and listen more to what people are saying."
I share this sentiment with you. I didn't expect it, but I feel like I'm a much better listener and communicator than I was 6 months ago. Hopefully my perception is accurate.
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