Update
Another demeaning rehearsal. I learned veil off the dvd a dancer made. I was excited, I even performed it on Saturday at Caspian. So I did it in our groups at rehearsal last night and our group made me anchor (that means I am the front person, everyone follows me). I asked the seasoned veteran and apple of choreographers eye why she wasn't anchor. It seemed to me she responded with a saccarine smile and a "I think she'd like it better if you were, I mean, you know it don't you"...right thanks, feed me to the lions. So I did it, remembered the whole thing, performed it with my eyes. Unfortunately my feed back is "Crista you are holding the veil wrong. Your barrel turns are not right, you are dancing too hard (I'm a cheerleader remember)(oh and she demonstrated my sucky dance style). Go outside and learn it because you don't know it still. But I'm moving on with the other girls" okay. I suck. Suck suck suck. Then after that when we came back in (our group was sent outside to learn it) we did Gypsy which I have NEVER learned but okay. She said "that was better". Right. I'm an actress. Wednesday we have a show just for the owner of Mandoulon so he can be critical and point out who he likes and doesn't like. at least that's what L. said. This is for her to see HER show, so we better be prepared and know all the dances and have all our stuff and "Crista, you have to have a longer fall". Well noone told me the one I was wearing was unacceptable so I continued to wear it...and I asked. Then she said it was tim to practice our zills "who doesn't have any" well I don't and she was like "didn't I give you some?...oh wait, I gave yours away, I remember, Welll.." and I said "I'll practice without them". okay. So do I buy a longer fall or do I quit? am I a sucky quitter or is this unnecessary stress? Do I really want to go grey over a BELLY DANCING COMPANY? or am I not good enough for any company? am I unprofessional and I should be picking these dances up quicker? is there more I could do? AAARRRGH!
Oh and the other update is I already drank 3 cups of coffee...hmmm. I guess I'll wind down with tea and honey later.
Oh and the other update is I already drank 3 cups of coffee...hmmm. I guess I'll wind down with tea and honey later.
posted by Coco at 11:17 AM
3 Comments:
You are a sucky quitter.
You suck at quitting.
And you suck at saying, "Enough of this, I don't actually HAVE to do this. I never auditioned for a belly dancing company. I auditioned for a international, jazz, hip hop company. So I either choose to do this. Or I can choose not to. P.S. You are a Belly-Dancing Nazi. Who hates me because I'm beautiful. And you dear pothead, are past your prime." Then you should shake your ass so it jingles and walk out of the room, dropping your fall on the way out, muttering, "Now whose a little short?"
I might have to write that down...
You don't want to go grey over any dance company, belly dancing or not. You are a dancer because it is your art. Your art can be hard on you, it can challenge you, it can motivate you and frustrate you, but it CANNOT beat you up. If you choose to leave you are not a sucky quitter. You are a person who values herself & won't allow her to be someone's doormat. That's not unprofessional. You, my dear, are a professional & their needs to be more like you in the arts industry as a whole. Trust me.
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