Is This the Day?

Is this the day
I lose my softness? Succumb to the madness?
Is this the way?

Wouldn't you say
I was the loser, I was the child?
Why can't you stay?


Why is it always, "peel off the layers", "try to be vulnerable", "open your heart"
The truth is to say "none of this matters", "history repeats", "everyone strays"

Am I just crazy, to will into being, a love between man and woman, lover to loved?
Now and forever, forever before this I tried to be perfect to urge you to stay.

Why can't it be, true, pure and simple, dog-like loyalty, siphon away...
everything ugly, everything prideful, striving for glory, wash it away.

But no, now as ever, everything lovely, everything earned seems far away.
I couldn't try hard enough, couldn't give you enough, couldn't be all and still be the same.

Is there nothing beautiful enough, genuine enough that makes it okay?
Should I give up idealistic pining? Why would you want to strip that away?

Today is the day, I lost my bearings, I lost my desire to continue charades.
I'll walk away a bitter loser, my wide eyes shamed, my courage astray.

One day I'll look back at my love intuition and wonder whatever made me believe,
that dogged compassion, desire for another would ever keep reality at bay.