Seriously?
There is a guy, at this very moment, having a conversation with himself about a cricket he sees on the floor and different world observations. He has been talking to himself for a good 15 minutes. Now he's talking about the IRA and something deadly. I'm in Starbucks by the way...oh my, he just said "teradactyl"! I am getting a little nervous.....
Okay, yesterday I mentioned my bipolar feelings of late. Well, today is a happy, free, excited day and I think that is enough to celebrate. Yes, I am bumbling through my mid-twenties like a bull in a china store (the only visual I keep coming back to at this wierd time). But today, I woke up next to Shane, with his arms around me and I thought to myself, so what, so what if I don't know what I'm doing. Right now I am happy, and I feel safe and excited about the day. Isn't that all I can ask for? I am trying to enjoy every experience as it comes.
I need NEED another job. My days are boring- I come to Starbucks everyday to have my coffee and check my email and blog, then I work out, then I clean or run errands or see friends. I work nights at Pirates. I need another job, all this free time is killing me. I have been saying this for a while and I have put in a few applications but nothing has panned out and I haven't exactly been pounding the pavement. Today is the day my friends, today (or tomorrow if nothing comes of today :)
The nice thing about having free time AND not having a boyfriend is that I can go wherever, whenever at the drop of an invite. AND my little brother just moved out here and I have time to hang out with him and his girlfriend..and my cousin too. I have mentioned before perhaps the raging lack of family I have felt my whole life. Growing up our family was toxic and stuck in Ohio. I spent all my time working (starting at age 11) and dancing and reading...anything to be away. I moved away the minute I was old enough and never looked back. I kept in touch of course, I love my family! But I have always been distant kin. When I moved to California with my Aunt and cousins close by I didn't know how to be family. So I saw them as much as I saw my Ohio family. BUT my little bro is all about family and leaves me text messages saying how he misses me AND my banana bread. I am happy to report that I see him AT LEAST once a week. We hang out and I bake for him which really makes me smile! I love it! We talk about our lives and tease each other and ...we're family like I've never known and I love it. For the first time a family member is part of my community.
Oh and I finally took a few pictures of my place. Here are two of my kitchen...my retro rusted kitchen table that I am in love with and then the poster Melanie got me for Christmas that sums up the motto of my life of late :) oh yeah and my christmas tree behind the chair...its in hiding until I stick it in the closet
Okay, yesterday I mentioned my bipolar feelings of late. Well, today is a happy, free, excited day and I think that is enough to celebrate. Yes, I am bumbling through my mid-twenties like a bull in a china store (the only visual I keep coming back to at this wierd time). But today, I woke up next to Shane, with his arms around me and I thought to myself, so what, so what if I don't know what I'm doing. Right now I am happy, and I feel safe and excited about the day. Isn't that all I can ask for? I am trying to enjoy every experience as it comes.
I need NEED another job. My days are boring- I come to Starbucks everyday to have my coffee and check my email and blog, then I work out, then I clean or run errands or see friends. I work nights at Pirates. I need another job, all this free time is killing me. I have been saying this for a while and I have put in a few applications but nothing has panned out and I haven't exactly been pounding the pavement. Today is the day my friends, today (or tomorrow if nothing comes of today :)
The nice thing about having free time AND not having a boyfriend is that I can go wherever, whenever at the drop of an invite. AND my little brother just moved out here and I have time to hang out with him and his girlfriend..and my cousin too. I have mentioned before perhaps the raging lack of family I have felt my whole life. Growing up our family was toxic and stuck in Ohio. I spent all my time working (starting at age 11) and dancing and reading...anything to be away. I moved away the minute I was old enough and never looked back. I kept in touch of course, I love my family! But I have always been distant kin. When I moved to California with my Aunt and cousins close by I didn't know how to be family. So I saw them as much as I saw my Ohio family. BUT my little bro is all about family and leaves me text messages saying how he misses me AND my banana bread. I am happy to report that I see him AT LEAST once a week. We hang out and I bake for him which really makes me smile! I love it! We talk about our lives and tease each other and ...we're family like I've never known and I love it. For the first time a family member is part of my community.
Oh and I finally took a few pictures of my place. Here are two of my kitchen...my retro rusted kitchen table that I am in love with and then the poster Melanie got me for Christmas that sums up the motto of my life of late :) oh yeah and my christmas tree behind the chair...its in hiding until I stick it in the closet
posted by Coco at 10:26 AM
2 Comments:
I was wondering if you'd ever gotten the poster! It looks great... it might be even bigger than I thought it was... I can't wait to see it in person!
Nice place. Very cute. Just stopping by to say hi. so, "Hi!"
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