That Goodtime Feelin'

Yesterday Brendon and I were lounging on my couch watching tv. I don't know what prompted it, but I felt a different feeling of affection towards him, it was a familiar, knowing affection. He laughed a total guy laugh at something that happened and then looked at me to share in the fun and I could have melted at his feet then. It struck me because I think up until recently, though we love each other and are relatively comfortable around each other, there has always been novelty infatuation, or at least that is how I think it has been - the awed kind where you watch what you say to an extent and what you do and how you hold your head, your hands, your expressions. All of a sudden Brendon's laugh was a completely unpretentious, unburdened expression and he was completely himself at my house, allowed to feel what he felt and I feel the same way with him. I KNOW he thought the something on tv was silly funny, he shared it with me in his eyes. I'm getting on a tangent, the point is I felt familiar affection as opposed to novelty affection. I normally spend evenings with Bren and I have come to adore that time, look forward to it, and protect it. Yesterday I enjoyed being in the moment in my "usual" setting, and love that my "usual setting" is laughing with Brendon.