Poem

Let It Go
I don't know how hard to work
or where to draw the line
when to say "enough's enough's"
and when to say "it's fine"

I dream of times much like these
but without the uncertainty
am I a treasured love
or simply worker bee?

Every woman asks themselves
at the end of every day
did I try hard enough
to be valuable enough to stay?

Did I, inteded or not,
push or nag too much
did I show too much love and want
did I show too much trust?

Should I have let my feelings go
shrugged off for better days
should I have fought that one last fight
refused to go away

How can i be beautiful? when should I give in?
when are insults simply words
and when do they turn to sin?

I burn at your comments, I'm injured from the fight
but you tell me thats it's normal
that everythings alright.

I say to my wounded mind,
you're damaged, that is why
the things that are normal for most
make you want to die.

I stitch and heal and pray for
the wounds to go away
I learn I grow I move on
and yet the pain remains.

No matter what the medicine
I can't heal what has been cut
and no matter what the difference is
each blow feels like that first one.

So here we are face to face
you say your love's no lie
but you look around for something more
and ask me not to cry.

Should I as better women have learn to let it go?
to be one part of many?
Is that all I need to know?

Is it good and right and just to be simple in desire?
To ask only for what is given and never to aspire?

Is there nothing left inside the world to look forward to or trust,
but the infinite presence of disappointment and lust?

I wish someone could put a loving hand upon my head
and tell me as a child that these things are not to dread
that I am precious and desired and beautiful inside out
that I need not be excluded, that I can throw away my doubt.

but it seems the only truth is that doubt is not to blame
for the shaming of my womanhood, for the infliction of pain
and that beauty is deception and love is just a lie
and there's nothing to be proud of
and no point in asking why.