What is it?

So, Shane. I hang out with him...sometimes. I spend the night at his house...sometimes. I look forward to seeing him at work, all the time. So what is it?

Something with no name and no expectations. Just comfort and freedom? I'm old enough to know thats not possible. Everything has a price and everything, EVERYTHING has strings. Or so I've learned and maybe thats not true?

Yesterday I went over to Shanes house after work, he asked if I wanted to hang out and I said yes. So I show up and we hug and I sit down as he plays Guitar Hero and his roommates appear one by one and join him. After thirty minutes of watching I get out my book. He asks "sorry, am I boring...huh I am huh" and he laughs a cute laugh. I said, no I just want to read and I move closer. I would have been reading at home and how nice is it to read with our bodies touching comfortably and his household laughing around me. I'm allowed to just be, come and go as I feel comfortable and just be. Then we watched Lethal Weapon until He fell asleep and then we went to bed. I love sleeping next to him. As soon as we lie down he talks to me. I mentioned to him once that we don't talk very much. He said we don't need to and maybe thats true. We're not obligated, we just talk when we want.

The first time he came over to my house and spent the night I looked at him and said "no sex, okay? it's just nice to sleep next to someone sometimes" He said he was thinking the same thing. And I think that's what it is..we just share space. He feels safe with me and I with him. But I am always looking for labels and boxes and right and wrong and I can't find it. So it is what it is. and I like it. If he's seeing other people I don't want to know and he feels the same way. and if it drops off it does.